A Little Encouragement — Thanks, I have cancer!

The last few weeks have been tough but good.
I moved out Tom’s and my apartment in the Tender-Nob, and headed over the hill to move into a gorgeous apartment in North Beach with two old friends.
Feels good to be in a new place that doesn't remind me of sickness, nausea, heartache, medicine, and, well, cancer.
I've been struggling with my recent breakup and move, and while these kinds of things are never easy, I've been doing what I can to try to move on. It has been trying at times, as I have a trillion different thoughts every moment where I am questioning the break up, myself, my life...everything. Today, I was tidying up my room when I came across a cut out from a magazine that someone had slipped into my medical folder. The quote is from Martha Beck, PHD and I realized these are THE words I have been needing to hear while going through this really tough post-cancer phase of my life :

"When you've been through an unexpected change, the old you dies and a new one is born. And therefore you must allow yourself to be a baby. Get emotional and moral support any way you can. Give yourself a limited time each day (at least an hour) to do nothing but focus on this adjustment. And don't make big decisions until you've got your legs under you. You don't even know who the new you will grow up to be, so postpone large commitments, giving yourself time and love. Everything else will take care of itself"

After I read this, I felt a serious weight had been lifted off my shoulders. This last month, I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off because I was too afraid to stop and face myself, because I don't really know who I am anymore. Often, I have dark moments and don’t deal with them in a healthy way. I am kind of slowly learning that the "darkness cures" I am using are not emotionally or physically healthy or healing in the long run. I’ve been on this path to serious self destruction and bulldozing over everyone who stands in my way.
I know for a fact that I will become familiar with myself again but I think what Martha Beck is saying about slowing down and really taking the time to be gentle and have patience with yourself is so important, especially after facing a huge trauma. I have been through things that have changed me in to a new person, who I am now excited to shape, and give life to.