My Possible Future Children Are Frozen!

This post may be a little controversial to some, but it is important for me to get as much out as possible so that you, most likely my loved one, will know what's up, and so I can maybe help another person going through the same thing as I did. 
So - my future babies could be in a freezer at UCSF right now, at this very moment, while I am just sitting here, typing away. It's kind of special to me that tiny Amandas (or Amandos) are just chilling out, literally, waiting to be defrosted.

A little background here : 
When I was first diagnosed, the doctor informed me that I should look in to freezing my eggs because there is a chance, a small one, but still a chance that my body may not bounce back from chemo ; more specifically, my ovaries may not bounce back. This news was almost more shocking to me than the actual diagnosis because I hadn't thought much about my future in terms of babies, but this got me. I had to really struggle to hold back the tears. It's incredible how many factors play in to the process of getting better, and this is a factor that I was NOT expecting. I should also point out that insurance does not cover this procedure, but hopefully some day it will. From this piece of info, I also learned that something like 15 years ago breast reconstructive surgery wasn't covered by insurance after a double mastectomy caused by cancer either! Can you believe that?! 
Anyway, I ended up going to the fertility clinic at UCSF and working with the most amazing doctor ever - Hi Dr. R!
The process leading up to the procedure was not my definition of a good time, and try as I might, I did not like Dr. R for those 2 weeks. I had to go to the hospital every single day for a sonogram and blood draw, then take my bloated belly home to give myself 2 shots right in the abdomen. (Did I mention this was every day for 2 weeks?) Also, when the nurses asked me if I was still socially drinking and I answered yes, they looked at me like I had 40 (stupid) heads so I had to stop that - not fair. 
Before I started these shots, I had to meet with a nurse, Cathy, to learn how to mix all the medications and use the syringes etc etc. After Cathy showed me how to do so, she asked me what my favorite color was, and in the spirit of having breast cancer, I answered her question with an enthusiastic "PINK!!!!!", thinking it would be the color of the bag she was going to send me home with all the meds in. She returned with a very small, very pink knitted cap, for when I go bald, and sent me on my merry way. I don't think I had even thought about the hair loss at this point, but this got me thinking about it real hard. And not in a good way. I wasn't super stoked on Cathy at that moment either. 
That night I went to my BFF Jenn's house so she could talk me through the first shot. I told her about the pink cap that was haunting my thoughts, and being the best friend she is, made me try it on with all my hair tucked in so I could see what it would look like. Talk about facing the music, eh? She thought the cap itself was too plain so she topped it off with a nice little straw fedora. Please enjoy Jenn's empathy and styling skills through the photo below. 
In the end, the egg retrieval process was a great success - I'll give another shout out to the sedatives - really really amazing stuff. So now I have 15 little frozen eggs waiting for me, or not, who knows, but at this point, why not be prepared with whatever life throws at you? I also like to (inappropriately) joke about selling them to friends for a lot of money so that always cracks me up and makes other people laugh nervously. 

Those darn meds

Those darn meds